Yesterday was a strange day, good, sad & bad.
Being at Beningborough Hall was nice, the gardens lovely & mostly powerchair accessible, I know where I can go & a path in the woods is accessible if it's not been raining. And so I left my parents in the cafe & went off alone. Only my parents are able to transport the powerchair in their car -it's 15stone in weight so needs the fitted hoist to get it into their car. Which means that I have to be out With my parents for the freedom the powerchair gives me. But then I'm not alone either as I then need help with doors, stuff blocking the way, etc. But it hit me when I left them and had around 20 minutes to myself in the woods . .. to be alone away from my home by myself for a handful of minutes is now so rare. The last time was several months ago :-(
To think I used to walk at dawn & night in my woods where I live & that is now lost to me. My journal, my writing, my thoughts were all wrapped up, entwinned with the woods & that is gone. The weatherwitch of the land & woods I was is gone. I can't go out anywhere without the wheelchair & the agency can only take the attendant chair that they have to push so even then my direction, my lifes control is not in my hands :-(
And then I had a huge scare yesterday when out. I've had a powerchair 5 years, this one 2 years & I know it well. I went up a 1/2" step in the path, I've done it many times over the years but this time the powerchair tipped dangerously up, like a wheelie & I was badly scared. Very badly scared. Cos its 15st, tipping me right up, the front wheels therefore my feet up in the air,back towards the ground & I know there are anti-tip wheels on the back bit even if the chair goes back that far then you need help from another to tip forward again. And then the chair just CRASHED down & it really hurt my shoulder & my lower spine where the osteoarthritis is :-(
But what really got me was that my parents were immediately behind me when it happened, my mother was scared like me but my father says it never happened!! We even had a row about it as he swears blind he saw me wobble & swerve by oversteering the Handlebars!!!! (There are no handlebars!) But to prove his point he then demonstrated the Two handed movement he's convinced that he saw me do with handlebars /tiller that doesn't exist!! My powerchair control is tiny operated between 2 fingers with tiny movement nothing like the wide two armed tiller movement he's convinced he saw. How on earth did he 'see' that And claim it wobbled badly when it stayed perfectly straight but tipped dangerously upwards? I'm still very painful from it, still in shock from it but I feel very hurt that he's insisting it didn't happen :-(